Looking back over what I've posted the last few months, this subject matter may seem a little out of place. I can tell you, though, that this is something that has been weighing me down lately. I'm really not sure how to fix this, because it has become a standard part of our family.
We are loud.
An extremely loud family.
Loud parents who try to be heard over noisy children.
I see other families and wonder how their children can be so calm and quiet, while mine run around hollering at each other (not necessarily in a negative manner). Some mothers can speak just above a whisper and their children will hear and respond. Oh, how I wish I could do that! Mine don't always hear me when I'm sitting right across the table.
When we lived in an apartment in Sicily, we could often hear our downstairs neighbors carrying on a conversation. There was no insulation in the walls, and they were loud. It was just the two of us and a newborn baby. Such a quiet family. I miss those times. Now the only quiet I get is between the hours of 10 pm and 6 am - maybe.
Some of the noise level is due to hearing loss, compliments of the US Navy, but most of it is habitual.
I want to lower my tone, and I have tried before, but then I find myself slipping back into my old ways. The worst part of it for me: I always imagined myself as a soft-spoken mother, not edgy and loudmouthed. I don't like to yell across the house, but convenience factor takes over. I should just pull the car over whenever the kids get rowdy, but we'd never make it home. When my challenging child starts his meltdown, I should just close my mouth. Easier said than done.
Why does all this noise bother me now? Now that I have two teenagers, and my children have become accustomed to these decibels? Now that I've been a parent for over sixteen years?
Now that my youngest came home with his first failing grade. His hearing exam.
I'm going to work to lower my noise level going forward. I want this to be a permanent change in my life. I want my children to see a difference and begin to change too. It takes 21 days to break a habit. I need to replace it with a positive one.
I need you to hold me to this one!
