2012: The Year of...?

This is the time of year when you hear people talk about making resolutions.  I stopped doing that a few years ago, when I realized my yearly attempts would most likely be broken.  Then I would feel bad about myself for my lack of follow through. 

Now instead of resolutions, I make goals for myself.  I don't wait until the last week of December to do it either, this is a continual process throughout the year.  But each December, I do look back at what I've achieved over the year, and instead of seeing lack of ambition, I view my successes.  This is much more rewarding, and helps me move forward and build on my goals. 

2011 for me was a big year with beginning this blog, starting to write my book, and undertaking the huge task of homeschooling my high school aged son.  All of this started in the summer.  I ran my first marathon this December.  If I had set resolutions at the end of 2010, I guarantee you none of these things would have made the list.  In fact, after I finished my first half marathon in December 2010, my first words to my husband were, "I'm not ready for a marathon."

Don't wait until the end of the year to make the changes you want to make.  Set goals year-round, but use the end of the year to reflect on what you've accomplished.

Next December, you can look back and say, "2012 was the year of..."   

A Christmas Post

As we go into these last couple of days before Christmas, I'm once again reminded of how truly blessed I am. 

This year, in an effort to focus more on giving to others, I've tasked my children with using their creativity for gifts.  They weren't shopping in a store or looking through a catalog, they were only limited by their imagination and what they could find around the house to make.  What a delight to see how the teenagers took this to heart.  I was impressed with the outcome.

Have a merry Christmas, and enjoy the time spent with each other this season. 

For the sake of our children

What is it about our children that makes us lose our sense of logic at times?

Last week, our family attended Aubrey's Kindergarten Christmas program.  When it was over, I was speechless.

Of course the chairs were all filled, and people were standing in the back.  This wasn't our first go-round, so we arrived early enough to sit in the chairs lined along the wall (no worries of someone sitting in front of us).  Everything was fine until they dimmed the lights and pulled the curtain back from the stage.

I honestly thought there might be a celebrity on the stage.  It became a photo shoot and gathering of fans.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm all for supporting my children, and I'm a proud mom.  But sometimes I think we need to reign in our pride a bit.  Here are a few basic notes I believe should be followed when watching our children perform.

1.  When your child is on a stage (under lights) and you're sitting in the dark, it really doesn't matter how long you stand and wave.  He can't see you.

2.  If you stand to take a photo, please be considerate of the people behind you trying to watch the program.  Especially if you're in the front two rows.

3.  This is not the time to toss out sarcastic comments to those who are standing in front of you.  It's difficult to hear the children sing.  Be an example for those around you.  A positive one.  Although I used those comments I heard to further explain the meaning of inappropriate behavior to Abby who was sitting  next to me.

As a parent, I was disappointed for the sake of the children performing.  I was embarrassed for some of the adults who behaved in this manner.  This should have been an enjoyable evening.

It makes me wonder if it was just this particular group of adults, or is this spectacle becoming more common.  Have we become so self-absorbed and senseless that we lose sight of what's important? 

Let's use our sense for the sake of our children.

First Marathon

I ran my first marathon on Sunday.  It was a big day.  The notion of running a marathon first came to me in high school, when I chose it as the subject of a research paper.  It was one of those way out there goals that I would get to “someday.”  20 years later, I can say I’ve done it.

My training began on August 1^st with typical dry, Texas temperatures of over 100 degrees.  Sunday’s race had temperatures around 40 degrees and falling, rainy with a blustery north wind.  What a difference!

Even with the weather the way it was, I was determined not to let it dampen my mood.  I was going to soak in the whole experience.  

Now I'll stop with the bad weather puns.  Here are a few of my initial thoughts after Sunday's marathon.

·         Nike Dri Fit really works!

·         I don’t want to look at another banana for the rest of the year.

·         The hardest part was the walk to meet my husband and daughter after the race.

And most importantly - 
 

·         Why can’t I take a good post-race photo?  I always look completely beaten down. 

On a more serious note, I was excited to be there.  I loved the fireworks during the national anthem, the number of volunteers handing out water and Gatorade, and the cheering spectators who braved the cold, wind, and rain, and lined the miles of the course.  It was a tough run, and I did struggle with some of the later miles more than I thought I would.  Miles 21-24 were the toughest, but I finished.   

I don’t know if I can accurately describe the feeling of crossing the finish line.  To complete something I’ve worked so hard for.  It was worth it.  Running a marathon may not be anywhere near your list, but I encourage you to find a big goal to work on.  It's amazing how it feels to finish.

The question was recently asked of me, “Will you do it again?” 

What do you think?

Grading Myself

Do you ever have those times when you get really down on yourself?  Sometimes, it’s not even because of something you can control.   

A few months ago, I went through a tough time as a mother.  There were a lot of changes in my life, and I was able to spend more time with my children.  Instead of feeling like I was making a difference, all I could see was what I had done wrong.  Daily, there was something happening that would add to my feelings of inadequacy.  There was a time I even told my husband, “I’m failing at this.  If I was given a report card for motherhood, this would be my first failing grade.”

I guess I can be a little hard on myself. 

Fortunately, others in my life are a little more forgiving of me than I am of myself.  When I mess up, my kids are quick to accept my apology and move on.  Even if they’re mad at me for something I think I did right, they get up the next day and give me a new start.  They don’t hold grudges.    

It makes me thankful too, that even when I feel like I’m earning an “F” in my life I have the ability to start over at anytime.  My God gives me second chances (and third, and fourth…).  My report card in life can go from an “F” to an “A” anytime.  All I have to do is ask.

My God forgives me.  My husband and children forgive me.  My friends forgive me.  It’s time for me to do a better job of forgiving myself.  I’m going to make mistakes, and that’s okay.  

Do you ever grade yourself? 

You can make every day an "A."  Just ask.    

Teaching Respect

Do you ever have those days where it just feels so good to put your feet up?  Or to lay down in your bed?  Or maybe just the feeling of relief for those nights when the kids finally fall asleep (which I'm anxiously awaiting as I write now, so that maybe I can finish a complete thought).

One night last week, all I wanted was to put my feet up so I could have that great feeling.  I was getting ready to stretch out on the couch with my new magazine after a rough evening with one of my children.  The conflict had finally subsided, and I was drained.  I slipped off my shoes, fluffed up the pillows behind me, and was in the midst of stretching across the couch when my eight year-old stepped in front of me with a book in her hand.

"Can we do our devotion now?"

Now, what was I going to say to that?  It's not something I'm good about following through on every night, but I certainly couldn't say no.  I lowered my feet back down to the floor, and my little girl snuggled up next to me.  Her little brother slid in on her other side.  

She already had the page ready, and asked if she could read it.  I nodded and she read the title out loud. 

"Respecting Your Parents."  With that announcement, she immediately cut her eyes over to her older brother who had been my challenge of the night.  I repressed a smile. 

She continued reading, and I realized I had two choices for our discussion.  I could further illustrate my point to my oldest son, using examples from earlier in the evening.  Or I could use this opportunity to discuss with these children sitting next to me how they can show respect.  I recognized (with the help of Bob and Larry, thank you VeggieTales) that they needed positive examples and a discussion that did not involve their brother's actions.  

It was one of the best discussions we've had over a devotion. 

When I was down on myself, feeling like a failure as a parent, God used an eight year-old child to bring my focus back to the right direction.  

  

And there was still plenty of time to put my feet up.  

What is something that has helped you change your focus when things are rough?     

Front Porch Sittin'

                It was a beautiful weekend in North Texas, especially for November.  On Sunday, it was sunny, the temperature was comfortable, and there was a nice breeze. 

                My husband and I were outside moving some things around.  When we were done, I started to walk inside and he walked over to the swing. 

He told me, “We need to sit on the porch.  Take a break and sit out here with me. “ 

                The list of things I still needed to do was running through my mind, but I walked over there anyway.  The porch is one of my favorite things about our house, and I do enjoy sitting on the swing (when it’s not surrounded in children’s bicycles). 

                We probably spent close to an hour sitting there rocking back and forth, talking.  The boys were building with Legos on the other side of the porch, enjoying the weather outside.  My husband and I were talking about our future plans, brainstorming.  Creativity was flowing.  I had a sense of purpose.  I was refreshed.  I also realized I need to spend more time enjoying little things like nice weather. 

There will always be a long list of things to do, but sometimes you’ve just got to do some front porch sittin'. 

Frozen Pencils

My kids have an after school routine that is fairly consistent.  Even little Aubrey in Kindergarten knows the drill.  He takes his backpack to the table, picks up his homework folder, and then opens the freezer to get out a pencil.

That’s right.  He gets his pencil from the freezer.

You know, we haven’t always kept pencils in the freezer, and maybe some of you are thinking I’m a little weird with this absurdity.  I even resisted at first.  I mean, was it really too difficult for them to walk to the desk and get one from the pencil cup?

It started with a trip to the library to register for the summer reading program.  The prize for signing up was a color change pencil, where the colors change according to temperature.  When we came home, immediately four pencils went into the freezer lined up side by side.  They had to see the alternate color and I was told it would take too long in the refrigerator. 

Once the school year started, the collection in the freezer grew as my younger kids would bring home new pencils.  They have added a birthday pencil, a rainbow pencil, and a special pencil from a best friend.  These pencils don’t change color, but for some reason my kids think the freezer is the place to store them. 

It’s just another one of those things that make my kids who they are. 

I love that about them.

Reasons I Run

It was late at night, after the kids had long been asleep, when I took a break from my computer and made my way to the kitchen.  That was my first mistake.  My second mistake was taking the container of ice cream out of the freezer.   Using my best motherhood justification, I reasoned there wasn’t enough ice cream to split four ways.  I saved myself the trouble of a dispute between children. 

In the past, this scenario would've loaded me with guilt, and I would’ve gone to bed beating myself up over my lack of willpower with food.    

No longer.

There are people who don't understand why I run.  There are people who think I'm crazy for wanting to run a marathon.  Why would I want to spend hours running each week?  Why would I want to run 26.2 miles all at once?  

Well, for those of you who feel that way, here's my list of the most important reasons I run:

1.  Donut shop Fridays 

2.   I buy treats for the kids that I like too (see above example).

3.   There are some days I just want to run away (Who can't identify with this?)

4.   It’s hard to cry while running (goes along with reason #3).

5.   It’s cheaper than counseling (see reasons #3 & #4).

6.    I’m trying to set a positive example for my children (the antithesis of reason #2).

7.   To prove to my first track coach (my dad) that I may have some athletic potential after all.

8.   I’ve seen parts of my city on foot I would never have seen otherwise.  

9.   Donut shop Thursdays 

10. I just like to run. 

   

Crazy, I know.  But I'm okay with that.

Talking Tech

Last week when I was cutting my youngest son’s hair, I asked him if he’d like me to do something different this time.  He thought for a moment, then gave me a serious look.  “If I don’t like it, can I delete it?”

My daughter was searching for a missing shoe in the closet.  She came to me and asked, “Can I use the flashlight on your phone?”

My oldest daughter sent me an email from school one day to let me know something she wanted for Christmas was on sale. 

My husband asks me why I still say “Hello” every time I answer his calls.  “...like you don’t know who it is?” 

I find it funny, especially with children, how everyday speech and actions have changed due to technology.  My children have changed in the way they talk and interact with others.  They usually follow my example.  These changes are not unusual, but part of a new normal. 

Some of the changes from technology do make me a little crazy.  A text is no longer just a noun, but it has become a verb too.  Texted is an actual word (an intransitive verb) according to the Merriam-Webster app on my phone.  As awkward as it sounds, I guess I’ll have to live with that one. 

But there are positives with technology I wouldn’t change.  My quiet child has communicated with me in ways I couldn't have planned.  She sends me funny texts, pictures, and random sayings.  We have ongoing jokes that we send back and forth.  We are closer because we communicate even when we're apart.  Although, I could do without the texts that ask me to please come turn off her bedroom light because she is comfortable and doesn't want to get out of bed.   

How has technology changed the things you say or do?     

   

My Mommy Quirks

My youngest child has a birthday this week.  He’ll be six years old.

To mark this occasion, and the fact that there are no more babies in the house (sigh...sniffle), I’ve decided it's time to eliminate some of my mommy quirks.  My oldest is now fifteen years old, so I’ve had a few years to build up these habits.  They won't be easy to break.

1.       I will no longer go to the potty, nor will I ask one of my children if they need to go potty.  I will go to the restroom, or I will go to the bathroom.  I once heard a woman tell a friend at work that she needed to take a potty break.  Her children were grown and married.  There comes a point...

2.       I will no longer refer to myself in the third person.  “Mommy is tired.”  “Mommy went to the store today.”  “Mommy is hungry.”  All of my children are now fully capable of understanding pronouns.  I don’t do it all the time, but I find myself slip into it sometimes with the younger two.  I'm instantly reminded of this episode of Seinfeld.

3.       I will no longer finish off what’s left on my children’s plates.  That one chicken nugget will not feel left out.  The fries in the bottom of the Happy Meal box are cold anyway.  The crust from their pizza can be tossed.  Yeah, I know.  Pathetic.  And another reason I run.

And for the change I’m most resistant to…

4.        I will try to let go of the word “mommy.”  With such a wide range of ages between my children, it’s hard to be “mom” and “mommy.”  So I resign myself to just be “mom” now.

It's all part of growing up.

Am I making my children weird?

My daughter came home with a homework assignment to watch a weather forecast on television.  It should be an easy enough assignment to complete, right?  Well, my third grade daughter had to let her teacher know “we don’t have TV.”

Now this little girl has flair, and she doesn’t mind the limelight one bit.  I’m sure it didn’t faze her one bit to speak up and let her teacher know this in front of class.  But it got me to thinking.  Am I making my children weird?

We made the decision to eliminate satellite from our home almost two years ago, partly to save money and partly because there were so many conflicts between the kids about what to watch.  I’ve always felt TV was a big time waster anyway (not to mention a lot of junk to filter through) so it was a positive change to me.  My children didn’t agree, but they've moved on.         

 As a mother, I often wonder if I’m doing something to mess up my kids.  This is one decision I haven’t second guessed.  What have we missed out on?

 Absolutely nothing.

My children play games together, read more, and it's a treat to rent a movie.  I don’t have to worry about the negative factors because I can control what’s in my home.  Evenings are quieter, and bedtimes come earlier.  We are not inundated by pop culture, at least at home.

So am I making my children weird? 

With these results, I can live with that. 

Make an Investment

I was thrilled yesterday when the mail came.  When I order something I really want, I’m like my son with his birthday.  I can’t wait!  So I’ve been anxiously checking the mail every day.  My children didn’t exactly share my joy when I showed them the contents of my package.  In fact, they looked at me kind of funny.  I told them this was a very important key to my future.

Why should I be ecstatic over ordering a book that contains over a thousand pages?  You may be looking at me kind of funny right now, too.  Well, let me tell you why I’m excited.

I am cheap.  I hate to spend money.  I am a low-maintenance, discount, red-label, bargain shopper.  I see that as a good thing, although the rest of my family may disagree.  At times, though, my thrifty tendencies can keep me from doing the things I need to do. 

Now back to the book I ordered.  This is a valuable tool for me to have as a writer.  I have looked at this book several different times over the last few years.  A professor in my first Creative Writing class recommended it.  I’ve just never taken the step to buy it.  I don’t know why; it’s not that expensive.  It would be an investment in myself.  Of course, we know that investment really just means to spend money, right?  That’s where my cheapness kicks in.  So I’m thankful that I have my number one fan to push me to spend the money I need to, or else I would not move forward.

It’s not impossible to pursue goals without the right tools, but getting to the finish can be easier if sometimes we take those small investments to help manage our resources and time.

Have you put off buying any of the tools you need to pursue your goals?  What’s stopping you from moving forward?

Did you not know...

I can still amaze my children.  This is a big deal to me.  I rue the day I'm no longer a superstar in their eyes.  It's already becoming that way with my teenagers, but my younger ones still have times when they're wowed by me.

One night I was helping my youngest get ready for bed.  He started Kindergarten last month, and he is learning so quickly.  This was our conversation:

"Mommy, do you know how many months there are?"
"Yes, I do.  Did you learn that at school today?"
"Yes.  Mommy, tell me how many months there are."
"Twelve."
He gives me a big smile.
"Mommy, do you know how many days of the week there are?"
"Yes, there are seven."
"Oh, man!  You know everything!"

He had such a look of awe on his face because I knew the answers to his questions.  The first year of school all of my children have learned rapidly.  I look forward to hearing about new discoveries.  I relish the way their face lights up with fresh knowledge. 

I still need to do that myself.  I should continually be learning, and enjoy the process along the way.  I want to read more and explore interesting ideas.

At least once a week, this little five year-old will start a sentence with, "Mommy, did you not know..." and then proceed to tell me what new fact he's learned.

What fascinating information have you recently discovered that could finish that sentence?

Baby Steps

This is not a new concept, nor is it something that is unfamiliar to people.  Baby steps enable you to make small changes, one step at a time, to reach big goals. 

I’ve been thinking about this idea and how I’ve used baby steps to accomplish some major goals in my life the past few years.  I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing at the time, but looking back now, I can see that the process was so simple.  I followed this concept to finish my college degree, reach my weight goal, and run a half-marathon.  I put together this list of the steps that work best for me when I want to achieve an extensive goal in my life.

1.        Set the big goal first, but not a date.  I’m sure by not setting a date, this information conflicts with other advice out there, but I simply move the completion date to a different step.  When I decided to go back to school and finish my degree, I simply said, “It’s time to get the piece of paper hanging on the wall.”  When I set my weight goal, I wrote it down.  It is more important for me to first identify what I want my specific outcome to be. 

2.       Decide what smaller goals will enable the big goal.  One of my big goals I’m working on now is to run a marathon.  I started out over a year ago by making the decision to train for a 5K (3.1 miles) and then worked my way up to a half-marathon (13.1 miles) last December.  The goal of running 26.2 miles is colossal in my mind.  Fortunately, by adding a little extra distance each week of my training, the goal is achieved in manageable amounts.  There are accomplishments along the way when I realize I’m now running farther than I ever have before.

3.       After identifying the smaller goals, set deadlines.  This is where I go back to the second part of Step 1.  I pull in the dates for my small goals, and that helps me see the end date for the big goal.   To finish school, I had an idea of how many hours I was going to take each semester, but I was still limited by my work schedule and the class schedule offered.  When it came down to the last two semesters, I had my graduation date in sight.  With my running goals, I found that if I register for a race, I’m more likely to stick to my training.

4.       Celebrate the little accomplishments along the way.  I didn’t wait until I reached my weight goal to buy some new clothes, but I didn’t replace my whole wardrobe either.  I needed to reward my effort, but still have some motivation to keep going.

5.       When the big goal is achieved, don’t stop there!  This is when I look at the different areas of my life to see what I should work on next.  I set new goals for myself and start the process over again.  Two of my current goals (in addition to the marathon) include de-cluttering my house, and having some of my writing accepted for publication.  Funny how the latter goal seems more achievable.  It’s going to take a bunch of baby steps to have a clutter-free house, but one day my house will be in order.

What goals have you set for yourself lately?  Have you found a different approach that works for you?    

   

       

A Nice Ride

Do you ever make a well thought-out decision, only to have a "What was I thinking" moment?

It happens to me more than I care to admit.

In an effort to improve my marathon training, I started to look for a way to change up my cross-training.  The running miles are increasing significantly now, and I want to keep boredom at bay.  One day a week of cross-training is a regular part of my training schedule.  The last few weeks, I've just walked at the park on my non-running days while my son runs.  I've wanted to do something different, and I prefer to be outdoors when the weather is nice.

A few weeks ago, I was searching for something in the garage, and noticed my husband's bike.  It would be nice to be able to get out and ride for my cross-training.  I mulled the idea over for a while, mostly to justify purchasing a helmet.  Last weekend, my husband adjusted the seat for me, filled the tires with air, and other general maintenance.  I broke down and bought a helmet.  I was ready to ride. 

Did I mention I haven't ridden a bicycle in over twenty years?  Well, you know how the saying goes...

It's not true.  Okay, let me back up.  It's partly true that you never forget how to ride a bicycle.  I was a little shaky, but after a few turns around the yard, I was fine.  So maybe you never forget how to balance on two wheels, but I don't remember the gears being so complicated.  My husband's bike has 21 speeds.  It's made for off-road.  I asked him how I'd know which gear to use.  His answer to me was "You'll figure it out."  I took a few test rides around the house before I took to the road. 

This is the point where I really started to question my decision.  We live at the top of a hill, so no matter which direction I went it was downhill first.  I headed east because that part of the road is straight.  Going west would involve curves.  As I gained speed on the downhill, I started to feel completely helpless.  I pictured myself wiped out at the bottom of the hill.  A phrase I’ve heard ran through my mind “has book sense, but no common sense.”  Amazingly enough, I made it to the bottom without crashing.  I curved around to face another monstrous elevation.  Halfway up, after I had shifted through 14 different speeds trying to find one that would help, I pulled myself over to the side of the road.  I was huffing and puffing.  How can I run 13 miles, but can't get myself up this hill?

I finally made it to the top and took a side road to get more familiar with the riding and shifting, only to discover this road was hilly too.  I turned around.  I had only been "riding" for ten minutes.  I started to feel a little better going down the hill this time, and the shifting was starting to make sense in my warped mind.  I rounded the curve again, to begin the uphill climb home. 

The worst thing about living at the top of a hill is that no matter which direction you're coming from, you have to go up the hill to get home.  I rode into my driveway out of breath, with sore legs and a sore seat.  My total ride time was barely 25 minutes.

As tough as it was, I will get back out there again.  Only next time, I think I'll head west.

Number One Fan

I have a fan.

Now, I'm not talking about the kind of fan that you use to circulate air.  Well, I do have a few of those (and they've worked some major overtime this summer), but that's not what I'm referring to here.  This type of fan is a real person - a person who admires me, my work, my accomplishments. 

I know.  It surprises me too...

I'm not talking about my children.  That would be too obvious.  Sure,there are times they are fans, but once the ice cream is finished and we're all back in the car, they have forgotten that I'm the "best mom ever."

So who is my number one fan?  It's my husband.  (Please pardon the momentary sappiness, I'll need it to get to my point.) 

My husband has always been a source of encouragement for me, but I've noticed it more in the last few years, especially these last few months.  It's the simple things he does to let me know he admires me. 

• When I graduated with my Bachelor's degree, I saw such a look of pride on his face. 
• After he read my first short story, I asked for his opinion.  He said, "Don't take this the wrong way, but it didn't sound like something you could write.  It's something I would find in a book."  I wasn't insulted. 
• When I began running, he didn't complain about the time it took me away from our family.  He gets up while it's still dark on one of his few days off to drive me to a race, then wait anywhere from 25 minutes to 2 1/2 hours (depending on the distance) for me to finish. 
• When I tell him what I need to pursue my goals he tells me "do what you need to do."  No questions asked. 

What I've noticed is how effortlessly it is for him.  He doesn't have to do much to make me feel important in my endeavors, but there is no doubt in my mind that he is my biggest fan.  That's how it should be, right?  But how am I doing with this?  How do I encourage my husband, my children, my parents, my friends?  Am I doing the things I need to do in order to let someone know how much I admire them?

Who out there knows without a doubt you're their biggest fan?  Is it a spouse, a child, a parent, a friend?  We should all have someone to cheer lead for.  I challenge you to take a step today to let that person know just how big of a fan you are.

Enjoy the Moment

The events of last week included the first week of school, my youngest starting Kindergarten, and me leaving my job to homeschool one of my children.  This left me with plenty of material I could write about today,but with all the activity and drama, it was a single quiet moment that caught my attention.

I consider myself fortunate that my oldest daughter still prefers to sit with me for Sunday morning services at church.  During the sermon yesterday, Ashley whispered to me that she didn't feel well.  Then something remarkable happened.  She put her head on my shoulder.  Now that may not seem like a big deal to some, but she's thirteen, and even though I wasn't completely surprised, this little action caught me off guard.  I was afraid to move, afraid to breathe, so I sat very still and held my breath waiting for her to be the first one to move.  I can't predict if it will ever happen again, and I wanted to savor the moment.

Later that afternoon, we attended our choir's music program, and Ashley again sat next to me.  This time, her younger sister was sitting on her other side.  At one point during the program, I looked over to see eight year-old Abby resting her head on her big sister's shoulder.  Ashley caught my eye, and smiled at me with that good big sister smile.  I smiled back, hoping she experienced some of the same emotion I had earlier with her.

Since my youngest was born almost six years ago, I vowed to take more time to enjoy my children while they're little and value the little moments.  Yet, so often, I still find myself rushing through.  I am blessed to have those instances when my children's actions take my breath away.

What about you?  What moment has taken your breath away lately?  I'd love to hear about it.

Simple Truth

This past weekend my husband was cleaning out the car, and brought in a paper my daughter had left by her seat.  It was her second grade Sunday School handout from last week.  I was working at the table, and he sat down and started reading it.  I became amused as he asked me for a pen and started working the questions.  He then passed the paper across the table to me, and I saw what he was working on.  The lesson covered Matthew 6 and was about worry, which is something I'm quite proficient at.  The question he had answered on the sheet asked you to list the things you weren't going to worry about and would let God handle.  I took the pen from him and added my worries under his.

This paper had one of those pictures where you color in certain squares, such as all the squares with one dot, to see what the picture is.  While he was doing this my daughter came in the kitchen and saw what he was doing.  She told him how she learned that we shouldn't worry about having food or anything.  When he finished coloring the picture, we could see that it was a bird.  She said, "Daddy, God takes care of the birds, and he takes care of us."

I needed that lesson Saturday.  We have taken a big step in faith in our family, and the worry monster has been trying to creep in.  There's nothing like a gentle reminder of truth from an eight year-old.

Have you had a simple lesson shown to you recently?

   

A letter to the runner at the park last Tuesday

Dear Runner,

I don't think you meant to be obvious with your staring (or maybe you did).  In fact, to the average parent your look may have gone unnoticed.  But I caught it.  I've seen it many times before. store, school functions.

When you heard my son yelling at me that he was running as fast as he could, you surely thought I was the type of parent trying to push my son to do something he doesn't want to do.  Or maybe you thought I was trying to relive my childhood through his activities.  I'd like to take a minute to explain.

You see, my son doesn't have the typical mental abilities and maturity of other teenage boys.  My husband and I have had to find different ways to help him prepare for his future.  He needed a goal that was challenging, but one he could complete.  A self-esteem boost, if you will.  Together, my son and I decided on the running goal.

So when you saw me encouraging him to move faster and pick his feet up, it's because I've watched him run for the last two weeks, and I know what's he capable of.  I also know when he's finished running and completes that goal race, he will have a feeling about himself he's never experienced. 

I may not be able to change your opinion about me, or your view of how parents interact with their children, but I hope next time you'll take a moment to consider there may be more to the situation than what you can see.

Breaking Records

It's been a week of making and breaking records here in Texas.  There have been record high daily temperatures, record high electricity usage, along with a record drought.  This week, we are on track to break another record with the number of days in a row where the temperature has climbed over 100 degrees. 

All the talk in the news of setting new records got me to thinking about some other records I'd like to see broken.  There are those that would benefit everyone, such as the lowest gas prices ever, but what about those that are important to my daily sanity?  To take a break from the heat, I've compiled a list of records I'd like to see broken.  Maybe you can identify with these, or think of some of your own. 

1.  Number of minutes all of my children can be in the same room without arguing. 
I believe the current record holds at approximately 60 minutes, due in part to the average length of an animated movie.  Thanks to Blockbuster's summer movie rental rates, I have experienced a few more of these blissful times of peace. 

2.  The survival rate of a loaf of bread. 
The Wright household currently demolishes a loaf of bread at a rate of one for every two days.  It's even faster in the summertime when it's too hot to turn on the oven.  One round of grilled cheese sandwiches can take out more than half a loaf.  I am indebted to bakery outlets.
3.  Number of bites I take of my meal before one of the kids asks for a second helping. 
Technically, I haven't calculated the actual record on this one, but most of the time it's close to one.  There are many times I've only just lifted my fork to take my first bite.  I know there will come a day when I serve my family dinner, and they will be able to take care of their needs.  Until then, the microwave is my friend.  For those of you with tiny ones at home, it does get better.  You will soon be able to eat your meals in the same hour of your little ones while they're awake.

4.  Amount of time after a meal before someone is in the kitchen asking for a snack.
Keeping with the food theme, I know there will come a day that I will have finished cleaning up the kitchen after dinner and left the room before one of my kids comes rummaging for a snack.  I've yet to see it happen, but I have hope!

5.  The number of times a day I'm reminded how precious my children are.      
This is one record I'd like to break every day.  No matter how big my kids get, I want to look for those little blessings and appreciate every one of them.
 




    

Smile at the Future

I'm a slacker. 

I don't try to be.  It just happens sometimes.  I find that I can get distracted from a task by the smallest change to my routine.  I have good intentions, but poor follow-through in some of the most important aspects of my life.

In 2004, I took a class while my husband was attending seminary.  One thing I picked up from this was to make it a habit of reading through Psalms and Proverbs monthly.  For the book of Proverbs, it is simple to keep track of what needs to be read each day.  There are 31 chapters and 30-31 days in a month.  One chapter a day should be easy enough. 

In theory.

By now, I should have read through the book approximately 71 times.  (You see how effortlessly it is to distract me.  I won't point out how much time I spent calculating that figure)  I must shamefully admit I haven't accomplished even half that.  Distractions can let the simple task of reading one chapter get away from me.    

For the month of July, though, I did make it all the way through the book.  As I opened my Bible on Sunday to finish the last chapter, I felt a small sense of accomplishment.  I was able to stick with it through the month, and I could do it again.  Then I read the last chapter of Proverbs.  I should've seen it coming.  My toes  were stepped on, and my accomplishment gave way to defeat.

The Proverbs 31 woman.  What a role model!  It's a chapter I find both inspiring and painful.  This woman is the epitome of who I should strive to be as a wife and mother.  On this occasion as I read each verse, I tried to identify areas where I need some work.  There were areas I think I've done okay with.  I enjoy working with my hands and creating things (verse 13).  Rising while it's still night to give food to my household (verse 15)?  I've got that one covered.  I'm a mother of four, so there have been many nights I rose in the dark of night to feed my children:  11 pm, 1 am, 3 am... 

This chapter also showed me what I need to focus more energy on.  Compassion and preparation (verses 20-21) are areas I struggle with.  God blessed me with dramatic children who love their tears, but the compassionate spirit I need to handle those tears has gone AWOL with all those hours of lost sleep.  While I know my children love me, I'm sure there are days they would be hard-pressed to rise up and call me blessed (verse 28).

The point that stuck with me the most, though, I found in verse 25.  Even though I had it underlined in my Bible, it resonated with me in a new way.  "...And she smiles at the future."  The NIV version puts it this way:  "...she can laugh at the days to come." 

I relish that statement.  I can bemoan my downfalls, but instead I can choose to celebrate my future.  I can learn to recognize distractions for what they are, and pick myself back up when I falter. 

What steps can you take to smile at the future?

Porta-potties, bananas, and safety pins

This weekend marked a big moment for me.  A year ago, I decided to train to run a 5K in August.  What surprises me the most is that one year later, I'm still running.  So, what better way to celebrate this occasion than by compiling a list of the top three things I learned my first year running road races.

1.  I can use a porta-potty.

This may not seem like such a big deal to some, but I'm the girl who would seriously restrict fluid intake to avoid this unpleasantry.  I've made it through concerts and soccer games, bypassing large drinks to the point of near dehydration.  I would walk the extra half-mile to use the flushable toilets for our family reunion at the lake.  But, thanks to having four kids, and the need to increase fluids before a race, using a porta-potty is inevitable.  But you can bet if there's an alternative, I'm standing in the longer line to use the indoor facilities.

Note to other runners/spectators:  Never use the porta-potties after a race.  Enough said.

2.  I still can't eat whatever I want.

I started running as a way to drop a few final pounds.  Then I gained seven more.  The post-race recovery fuel can put back every calorie I burned while running, and sometimes more.  This is especially true if the race is followed by a stop to bring home donuts (for the kids, of course).  In the very early days, I would have no appetite once I finished a race.  Alas, those days are gone.  Race sponsors go all out providing bananas, chocolate milk, yogurt, fajitas, baked potatoes, granola bars, and bagels.  The bigger the race, the more to choose from.  There's always something I can't pass up.  And I've earned it, right?

3.  I'll never have to search for a safety pin again.

I recently cleaned out my car, and unloaded at least 20 safety pins.  These were used to pin race number bibs to my shirts.  Gone are the days of digging out my seldom used sewing box to make a temporary clothing alteration.  But still, when I go pick up a race packet, if they ask me if I need pins, I say, "Yes, please."  With the races I've done this past year, only once did I need to pull from my stash because no pins were included.  It was a good thing I saved all those.

I could continue with how I've learned to avoid the oblivious runner in headphones, the chronic spitter, and the walkers stretched four across (who must have missed the announcement for slower runners to start at the back).  But I guess those are just pet peeves.

So, I'm eagerly anticipating what the next year of racing teaches me.  With the marathon goal in there, it's sure to be a doozie.     

A Good July Run

This past weekend, I did something I've never done before.  I enjoyed every minute of a 5k race.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love running.  But I'm always very goal-oriented when I race.  But here lately, when the temperature has been so high and I've had some extra obligations at home, I've had some difficulty motivating myself to run.  I still go out several times a week, but that's only because I have trouble letting go of the chocolate cravings.  In this case, my dad (who ran his first 5k in June) asked me if I wanted to run a 5k with him near their home.  It was a fundraiser for a young girl with cancer.

I'm always up for a race.

Things were not looking good for me going into this one.  The past week, my healthy eating habits were shot, the heat was unbearable, and I was tired.  The night before the race I was able to get less than four hours of sleep.  This wouldn't be a record breaker.

From the start, this 5k was different.  It was a small race, probably around 100 runners.  There were no timing chips, no race number bibs, no age categories for prizes.  This was strictly a fundraiser.  The 9 year-old girl who was fighting cancer stood out there to tell all the runners good luck and started us off.  I wonder what was going through her mind knowing everyone there was running for her.  There were some runners there she knew, but I'm sure many she didn't, all to help with her treatment.  I started the race with my dad, and after I made the loop to turn around, we passed each other.  We were running for the same reason.

At the finish, the young girl who was fighting for her life, high-fived every sweaty palm that came through.
   
When have you had a time when you went into something exhausted and came out of it energized?       

Setting Limits

You never really know what you're capable of until you're put in a particular situation.  But on the opposite side of the equation, how do you know what you're not capable of?

I was confronted with this thought on more than one occasion this past week.  I try to run five days a week, but when temperatures are still in the triple digits at 7 p.m. I realized I couldn't run my usual distance and speed.  I made a conscious decision to scale back.  I don't know exactly what it would take to dehydrate me, and my children don't need their mother passed out on the side of the road from heat stroke.  So how do I know what I'm capable of?

I've come up with a theory.  This is profound, I'm sure.  I hope you're ready for it.

When a situation falls upon me that is completely out of my control, I have no choice but to keep going.  In the depths of a crisis, I still have to get up every day and push through the problems as they come.  Sure, those are the days that I say, "Lord Jesus, come quickly."  But, I don't stop to think about how I'm going to make it through, I just do.  I rely on the support of others, and God's promises that better days are coming.  Looking back after some of these situations, I can say, "Wow, how did I get through that?"  It's simple.  I didn't get through it - I was carried through it. 

On the other hand, when I voluntarily put too much on myself, that's when I falter.  Actually, the word falter is too kind.  The more correct verb should be flounder, or break down, or crash.  It's those times when I'm going and doing so much, that I don't realize how much I'm pushing myself.  I am invincible!  Then something takes me down.  A headache (for someone who never gets them) sends me to bed early.  An illness takes me out of a whole day of work, forcing me to rest.  My thirteen year-old daughter waves a board game in front of me and tells me I need to take a break and relax.  These are the times I need to reflect on what needs to be cut, and work to make those changes.  I wish I could see the warning signs.  If only I could figure out I'm not invincible sooner! 

Beginnings

As I embark down the path of putting my passion of writing into practice, I wonder...what took me so long?

This step is part of a move for me to focus more steadily on my career as a writer.  There's also something intimidating about putting my thoughts out there on the web for anyone to read and comment on.  I do have several writing projects in the works, and I expect to post about them from time to time.  Accountability is an important driving force for me.
 
I've struggled over the last month or so with settling on a subject for my blog.  Do I focus on motherhood (life with four kids is anything but boring), running (planning my first marathon in December), or my Christianity (definitely a vital part of my life).  I've come to the conclusion that it's every part of my life that makes me who I am and what I love to write about.  So this blog will be about me - my perspectives - on anything and everything.  Topics seen here will vary, but I can promise that you won't find much from me in the way of politics.  I am conservative, and I think that will be evident on its own, and there is enough anger and tension in politics for me to keep it at bay.  Rest assured, if you want a break from the 2012 election coverage, this is the spot.  Although, chances are, there may be a post about me trying to make it to vote in the rain, after sitting in the waiting room of Discount Tire for a flat to be fixed with four tired, hungry children.  Oh wait, that was 2010.   

I'm excited about this journey.  Who knows where the road will lead?  I'm looking forward to the ride!   

Eileen