The Sounds of Summer

I am in the throes of my first summer home with the children in four years.  Even though I knew it would be tough (I do have a challenging child), I am enjoying the relaxed routine.  The house is coming into order, I am making substantial progress as a writer, and I have not been bombarded by the phrase"there's nothing to eat around here."

But it's a little noisy around here, and I've been frustrated with some of the sentences I hear myself repeating day after day.

To change my perspective, I came up with what I would love to say instead. 

• "Are you sure you're ready to go to bed?  It's only 9:00."
• "Thank you so much for replacing the roll of toilet paper."
• "Wow!  You washed, dried, and put your clothes away.  All in the same day."
• "Only one bowl of cereal for breakfast?"
• "I haven't heard an argument all day."
• "You picked up the floor in your room.  Now what will the puppy chew on?"
• "Thank you for doing the dishes right after dinner."
• "Are you sure you don't want to play any video games today?"

Ah, I can dream, can't I?

Moms, what would you like to hear more of ?  Add yours to the comments below. 

Our Challenging Child

In the past year, I have written a lion's share of posts about my children.  I realize that I have almost excluded one subject with the exception of this post .  The irony is this:  it is the driving force behind the two books I am writing.  But I promised to share my progress with you.

I haven't intentionally avoided writing about the difficulties my husband and I face in parenting our oldest child.  It's just not a fun subject, and can be emotionally draining.    

My 15 year-old son is what I like to call a "challenging child."  Strong-willed is too weak a descriptor.  To give a synopsis - he likes to test the limits (and then some).  It is too lengthy to share much here, but we have been on a roller coaster of a journey since he was four.  It is the main reason the progression of my book slowed almost to a halt this past year.  Those days when I struggle to form a smile, the last thing I want to do is relive a moment by writing about it.  But I understand I need to capture that exact emotion in order to relate to others.

I realize I am opening myself up to vulnerability, but I believe our family has a story that needs to be shared.  A story to let others know they are not alone.  A story of endurance and survival.  I know God has led our family down this path for a reason.  I know He wants us to reach out and help others with what we have learned.  It's not a fun story, but it is our reality. 

Last week, I finished the first draft of a devotional book for mothers.  I'm stepping out on a limb here, because I was sure I heard God wrong on this one.  I do not consider myself qualified to that level of writing.  (I mean, come on, you've read my posts.)  But I continue writing, hoping that the words I put down are truly what He wants me to say.  I am now working on the revision process, and evaluating the next step in the publishing process.

In the meantime, I am continuing work on the proposal for my other book.  This book will be a support and encouragement for parents.  I will share our story, and hope the process helps others in similar situations.  I expect to finalize the sample chapters next week.

I know there are many parents out there who have a challenging child.  The diagnosis may be different.  Situations may be different.  But we need to know we're not alone in our struggles.  If I can just encourage one person with our story, it will be worth the time invested.

Can you think of someone who has a challenging child?     

Fighting the High Cost of Food (Part 3)

As promised, I am finalizing my progress on how we would cut the grocery budget for the month of June.  I needed to do more than dabble in freezer cooking and cut coupons.  But I just didn't see a way to cut much more, especially with the kids at home for summer.  I predicted endless requests for food.  This movie clip kept popping in my head as I watched my family plow (yes, plow) through dinner one night.

Fortunately, we did not have to resort to such drastic measures.  Instead, we came up with a little motivation to take the focus off of food.  Here's what we did:       

• Give it a purpose  We have a big goal we want to save for.  We came up with a specific amount to save for the month, and talked about it with the kids.  No more did I say, "We spend too much on food."  It was, "We're saving for ____________."  Or "remember ____."  The kids were on board because it benefits all of us.
• Compromise  My children have been on me to quit drinking Diet Coke.  "Cokes are bad for you!" my six year old cries.  Diet Cokes have been a way for me to treat myself, to make up for all the other things I've given up, like, oh, I don't know - sleep.  So I compromised with the kids.  I would give up my drinks if they wouldn't complain about eating PB&J.  They resounded with "Yes!"  They didn't know what they were asking for, but I did it anyway.  I stopped buying Diet Coke, and made the switch to tea.  That way, I still get my caffeine fix.  But if you offer me a Diet Coke, I sure won't turn you down.  (Bless you, Sonya!)    
• Sacrifice  I love to eat out, but for a family of six, it can be a budget buster.  I dread the cleanup, because dishwashing in our home is labor intensive.  While everyone moves on to other activities, I usually spend another hour in the kitchen.  Since we decided to eat at home more, the two older children are now in charge of dishes.  I don't mind the cooking so much now either, especially when I do the math on what we saved.    
• Versatility  We've been fortunate that several grocery stores put their eggs on sale for $0.99 or less several times this month.  At the end of last week, I counted five dozen in the fridge (which will be gone by the end of this week).  My teenage son will fix three scrambled eggs for a "snack."  We have eggs for breakfast, fried egg sandwiches for lunch, omelets for dinner, and I use them in mixing up double batches of pancakes or waffles.  A bag of potatoes is a real stretcher too.  We've had baked potatoes, oven fries, and potato egg burritos.    
• Patience  After another breakfast of scrambled eggs and pancakes, my husband looked at me with all seriousness and asked, "Did they stop selling bacon at the store?"  I assured him I would watch for a good deal.  When we run out of something, I evaluate if we really need it or if we can hold off on replacing it. We also have had a nice bounty from the garden that we started back in February.  The hard work is paying off.  The kids love tomatoes, and we had our first watermelon over the weekend.                       

All in all, it was a successful month.  We cut almost $200 off from our May food spending, and we event went out to eat a couple of times as a family.  We saved a nice amount of cash toward our goal, and I even managed to drop a couple of pounds.

Will this happen every month?  I don't think so, but it was a nice break to give me some optimism for the future.  And by the time my younger two become teenagers, the two older ones will be out of the house.  I hope.       

Wrapping Up the 15 Habits

Here is the much-awaited final post summarizing my progress on the 15 day writer's challenge.  Thank you for obliging me these past few weeks.  It's only taken me about 30 days, and I am motivated by my progress.  I also have a lot to learn.  

I took a risk last week, when I published this post .  I thought about how I usually play it safe with my posts.  I don't like conflict, and I want people to like me.  I like to write about my children when they are sweet and funny.  But I also need to stand up for my convictions.     

I will be putting more effort into sending my work out for publication.  My problem is not fear (too much), it is in getting bogged down as a mom of four.  I am ashamed with what little it seems I've accomplished the past year in this area.  This will change.  

I reviewed my purpose and brand.  I hear a lot about brand or platform for writers.  I took a good hard look at my blog, which is my main marketing tool right now.  I definitely need to update my photo, and make a few changes to the settings.  But I mostly focus on the content.  When I set up the blog, I didn't want to limit myself to a particular topic, even though most of the posts are about parenting or my children.    

This brings me to the day 15 challenge.  I enjoy writing, and I write what comes up in my life.  But from my readers, I want to know what interests you.  I hear from some of you that you enjoy reading my blog, but what is it that makes you come back each week?  What do you want to see more of?  How can I make this a better blog for you? 

It's been exactly one year since I published my first post.  Can you believe it?  Thank you for sticking with me!