Hakuna Matata

Christmas has come and gone, and everyone is settling into the new year mode of setting resolutions or yearly goals. I am looking forward to a day to try to bring some organization to my home. I can't say the same for my kids, but I will include them in the fun.

I'm finishing up the year 2012 by watching a movie with the kids. Usually I use movie time to accomplish tasks in another part of the house, but tonight I wanted to hang out with them. We're watching The Lion King - yes, teenagers included - and as I'm trying to pull together one last post for the year, a phrase from the movie, "Hakuna matata,." sticks in my head.

It means "no worries" (sure, go ahead and sing it) and as I think back on the past year,  I haven't felt real great about the past few months, but there were some high points that should not be passed over.

Here are my top three posts from the past year I'm trying to come to terms with:

1. My silver highlights will soon be out of season, and they are multiplying with a vengeance. For now, I will let them continue to grow, and try be content with my aging.

2. The first day of school did seem to set a negative tone, but I am thankful for the break to reset for January.

3. I didn't meet some of my big goals I set, such as my last marathon. (If you'd like to see my recap, you can find it here.)

The highlights of the year that helped me focus on personal progress:

1. The little things that give me hope with my children.

2. Tears from watching my children grow and succeed.

3. Putting action to my dreams as a writer, and completing my first draft of my first book. Even though this goal was hit pretty hard with my schedule the past few months, I will not let it die.

My general attitude I will carry into next year is:

No worries.
I'm a work in progress.
I'm moving forward.

Goal Check (Update)

With a little over a month to go in the year, I thought it would be good to take a few minutes to evaluate yearly goals. Back in January, I wrote about setting goals instead of resolutions, and I want this to become an ongoing process with me. My first update can be found here. As I said before, I like having the accountability of reporting to others. It keeps me in line.

For the three areas of my life where I set goals, I can see some progress. I also see areas where I need to either focus more or completely change specific goals. I'm not making excuses, but a lot can happen in a year.

1. My Faith: My daily quiet time became a priority for a good portion of the year, but when school started, I had some trouble. Then in October and November after I started working part-time, I got derailed. I'm trying to get my morning routine back. Reading my Bible daily was the same as above. I failed on the scripture memorization goal. I even tried to do it with the kids, but it didn't become the priority I wanted it to be. I know how important this is, so I don't want to scratch it. I just don't know how to get there.

2. My Health: I did read more books this year. Next year's goal should probably be to turn in a library book before I have exceeded all my renewals. Finishing a book within two weeks would be even better. Getting up at 5 every morning is habit now, since Ashley has swim practice early each weekday. But I'm not getting the productivity here I wanted. With my running, I have become a stronger and faster. I still hate my scale. I try to eat better, but I also indulge. I'm anticipating a new personal record in the marathon next week in Dallas. You will probably get an update on that soon after.

3. My Work: I roughly finished my first book, but it's different from the one I wrote about in January. That one is still in the works. I did launch a running blog in January, so I don't have to bore my non-running readers. You can check it out here. Weekly posts will hopefully be routine on this blog again, now that my training has scaled back and marching band/football season is over.

I hope you were able to set some goals at the first of the year. It's a good time to evaluate where you are, and there is still time to finish some up. I'd love to hear about your progress! 

Thankfulness

For my faithful readers, you may be wondering why I haven't been posting weekly in the past month. I apologize, and it's not that I've become bored with blogging. On the contrary, I have had a multitude of topics to write about, but time has not been on my side. It has been hectic in the Wright household, mostly due to my  marathon training and a part-time work schedule. If When I survive the next three weeks (Dallas Marathon), you should see my blog back to a regular routine (such as one that exists for my family).

I've seen a lot of posts on Facebook this month for thankfulness, and with all that we've had going on, this subject is prominent in my mind.

So in the spirit of the Thanksgiving holiday, here is my list:

• I am thankful for my family. They love me when I'm grumpy/hungry after a long Saturday run. They don't care that I'm not a great cook, or super-crafty, or even a great housekeeper. Most of the time, my children want to be around me, and we spend a lot of time together as a family.
• I am thankful for extended family who are close in distance. After spending three years in Sicily, I am grateful to be able to drive to visit them within a couple of hours.
• I am thankful for my husband who served his country for over 10 years in the Navy. 
• I am thankful for our church family, and that I live in a country where I can freely worship.
• I am thankful to have the opportunity to write whatever comes to my mind. I am also grateful that there are some who actually enjoy reading what I write.

What are you thankful for?

God's Provision

After the first day of school, when I considered crawling back under the covers for the rest of the year, I was half kidding. Then the month of October hit, which brought a whammy or two.

I am grateful to sit here typing this post in a month where people tend to focus on thankfulness. I want to take a minute to tell how our family recently experienced God's provision. In order to get an idea of how remarkable this is, I will give just a brief outline of what transpired. 

For several years, we have always had just enough. I have often wondered why we can't get ahead, because it seems every time extra money would come in, there would be a dead car battery or something one of the kids needed. I would get upset because the extra had to be used, but one day I reached the point where I saw the extra money for what it was: God's provision. When I left my full-time job over a year ago to homeschool Austin, I wondered how we would manage. Instead, I have been amazed with how God provides for us. 

In order to keep from curling up in a ball this October, I tried to focus on this provision. Three days after my husband was out of work, my car was burglarized. I was running at the park, and I returned to a busted window with my purse and running backpack stolen. This really tested my limits, and I'm ashamed to say I fell apart about the break in. I like to think of this as a brief setback. I worked on switching my perspective to the positives, and began to pray for God to carry us through this rough place. I didn't want to worry about how long we would go without a paycheck.

As a result of prayer along with determination not to worry, I am so blessed to report that we survived a month without a paycheck. This was also a month of two birthdays, a class reunion, and an unplanned trip out of state. The credit card remained unused and savings untouched. We sure ate a lot of potatoes and ramen, but complaints were minimal.

All I can say is God is so good!

   

   

What's Your Verse?

I just thought the week we had a dead battery was tough. This week made that one look like recess. By the end of the day yesterday, I was not my usually cheery self. I usually try to avoid writing about tough times, but as a part of life, those times are inevitable. One of my sanctuaries this week has been pouring myself into my marathon training. The structure and plan has given me something to focus on and take my mind off of difficulty.

An incident after yesterday's run brought me to a breaking point. A discussion with my husband helped me find the perspective I needed. He reminded me of a verse he turns to when things like this happen: "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you." I Peter 4:12 (NASB)

My response was the verse I turn to: "But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him." James 1:5 (NASB)

I have also let these lyrics run over my mind this morning as I face today with a different attitude. This is from  tobymac's "Get Back Up"

We lose our way,
We get back up again
It's never too late to get back up again,
One day you will shine again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever 

You can find the full lyrics here.

Do you have a verse you turn to? Or maybe a specific song that helps you when times are rough?

A Reason to Celebrate

This weekend, our family will celebrate another child's birthday. It's not the fact that I have a class reunion this month, or that I'm pushing a certain milestone age myself (but not quite) that makes me feel old. But every time one of my children has a birthday, I sure feel old.

My oldest child will turn 16, a milestone eagerly awaited by most teenagers. Don't worry, the streets will still be safe. The issue of driving hasn't even made it to the table. While I say this jokingly, I come to this birthday with an apprehension different from most other parents. I don't mince words when I say there was a time I couldn't imagine how we would make it this far.

Family, close friends, and some members of our church family know some of the trials we endured. It is with great joy that I am able to share how he has moved forward.

We began our second year of homeschooling in September. The child who resisted schoolwork most of last year, asked me to spend more time teaching him this year. He told me he wants to go to a good college. The first two weeks of school were uneventful, and I held my breath. I kept waiting for the meltdown that didn't come. Instead of enjoying this time when things were rolling along smoothly, I waited for the difficulty.

After a month, I decided I could breathe a little and delight in this change. This week, Austin made this statement: "You know, I had a good Monday." (Mondays are typically our worst days.) I nodded, "Yes, I had a good Monday too. How nice is that?"

For years, I have prayed that he would "get it" - for something to click, and while he still has challenges, I rejoice in the progress he has made. I am proud of his accomplishments and have a bright hope for his future.

What will you find to celebrate today?

My Three Morning Lessons

I learned three important lessons this morning, all between the hours of 12:30 a.m. and 8 a.m. The main idea rolling through my mind was, "It's way too early to start making lemonade."

This week was much smoother. I made progress with my writing, and I adjusted better to the transition. My quiet times each morning have been purposeful and filled with peace. The assurance of following God's plan has lifted my spirit. So when the lemons started rolling in late last night, I should have been better prepared - armed with His Word and ready to fire off prayers as needed.

Lemon #1 showed up as lack of sleep. My husband's new work schedule is just plain crazy, so when he woke me at 12:30, after I'd only slept about an hour, it took a few minutes for my brain to register the next lemon.

"The car won't start."

This meant he needed to take the other car. So I'm lying there in bed half asleep when it hits me. I can't get everyone where they need to go. My initial reaction was shameful. It's a bad habit I have. Yes, Warfield, I am admitting - in writing - that I was wrong. Instead of doing what I needed to do first (pray), I jumped on the defensive. The lack of sleep just exacerbated my response.

I realize what I did was what I do too often. I used prayer as a last resort, not my first response. If I had taken this approach, I probably would have remembered the AAA benefit before my husband pointed it out to me (another painful admission).

Thankfully, I was able to get everyone where they needed to be on time this morning. When I went to Auto Zone, I discovered they were having a rough day too. The computers were down, but I was able to get a new battery. The beauty of cash. My 198,000 mile Mitsubishi was ready for another beating running kids all over town.

The three lessons learned this morning:
1. Pray first. How many times do I have to do this before I get it right?
2. Renew the AAA membership every year. Just for my peace of mind. 24 hour roadside assistance means I can call at 4:30 a.m. and have someone sent out to help me.
3. Carry cash. You never know when technology will fail, especially if you urgently need something.

What lessons have you learned this week?

Transition Time

I write this blog post after almost two full weeks of chaos. My husband started a new job last week, which was a positive change, but the schedule is doing a number on me. After a year of him being out of town for four to five days a week, I am grateful to have him home every night. Of course, that means no more hamburger helper, a few more dishes to wash, and wow, how do I ever keep up with the laundry? In the same week, my oldest daughter started swim practice before school. Now I see her about thirty minutes in the morning, and an hour (if I'm lucky) in the evening before she disappears into her room.

My writing schedule was one goal that got pushed aside. Final edits for my devotion book need to be completed, but my brain has been fuzzy. Even writing The Wright Stuff has given me trouble this week. I tried to work on a post last night, but a killer headache created some not so fun side effects like nausea. I tried again earlier today, but the topic wasn't coming together. Now, as I write, I have just dealt with a meltdown over a hoodie from one child, right after another called to tell me the pick up time changed. Goodbye dinner plans.

Earlier this week I whined to a friend about my inability to accomplish anything right now. She reminded me to adjust my goals in times of transition. As much change as our family goes through, I should have known better than to try to keep in my same groove. I guess I'm just stubborn and think I can push through anyway.

To repeat the words of my wise friend, I have a question for my readers.

How do you adjust your goals during transition?

Milestones & Mommy Tears

After a rough start in getting the kids off for the first day of school last week, I was stunned by the emotion of taking a child to high school. I thought I was better prepared for this milestone, so I did not expect the tears that blurred my vision watching my beautiful, tall, growing-up-way-too-fast daughter walk into the school for her first day of ninth grade.

I tried to mask my emotion while my three other children sat quietly in the back seat. Then my six year-old said, "Mommy, are you crying?" This started a new flow of tears. How do you explain that you're sad when your children grow up, but proud to see them take big steps?

I cried when each child started Kindergarten, but for different reasons. There were "first child" tears and "my little girl is scared" tears. Five years later, I experienced "my child didn't wave goodbye" tears, and finally "the baby is in school" tears. But I also cry every time I see my children perform in school plays, church musicals, sporting events, and band concerts.

I hate that it is easy for me to get red-nosed, so I'll blame that on my children. With each baby we added to our family, the probability that I would cry during any given event increased greatly.

Each milestone tugs on my heart a little differently.

I'll admit, there are times I don't want my children to grow up. I want them to still need me, and sometimes my tears are a longing for that need. But that's not my task. My tears should represent a satisfaction that my children are taking positive steps for their future.

So you'll see me crying at the next church musical, and I will probably embarrass my children. I expect there will be more tears to come.

As my mother advised, "Save some tears for graduation."

Our First Day of School

If this morning was any indication of what the coming school year will be like, I'll just crawl back in bed and stay there until June 6, 2013.

As I looked over "first day of school" posts and pictures of smiling faces on Facebook, I wondered if anyone else had a tough morning. Maybe tough is not the best descriptor here. Rotten is a better indicator of how our morning started.

I know parents who have the joy of getting their children to school have some rotten mornings. There will be times when deep sighs of relief are heard when the last child has been dropped off. I've been there many times.

But the first day of school?

I don't know what happened this morning. We've never had a first day of school like this. First, my two youngest got up an hour early. It was nice for them to get up on their own, but an hour is a long time to wait. Then the problems started. The youngest one's moods went from whiny to cranky to downright defiance.

Then came the teenager. I understand I'm not the only one who deals with a teenager attitude, but the excitement of starting high school should have overshadowed the sarcasm.

To top it off, we pulled out of the driveway fifteen minutes later than planned. Amazingly enough, the one child who didn't give me trouble this morning was the child who checks my patience every other day.

Somehow, we made it to the schools on time, and I managed to capture at least one smile for the camera.

For now, I will console myself with my favorite part of the first day of school: an early bedtime.

Back to School (Finding Contentment)

Back to school. Orientation. Meet the teacher night.

The week before school can fill up (especially when you have more than one child in school) with the busyness of getting ready for that first day. This is also the time of year I typically get down on myself. You see, I wanted to be a teacher, and I would be waiting in my own classroom for new students.

This year, for the first time, I don't feel that way.

Contentment. It has been a struggle for me in many areas of my life, but it has permeated my mind quite a bit lately on the career front. I am trying to come to terms with it, because I want to be content with what God has called me to do. I think the hardest part is that our culture has put so much value on career.

A year ago, I voluntarily left my full-time job of four years in order to homeschool my oldest child. It was a decision my husband and I made together, knowing there would be difficult days. But it was a decision we knew was the best alternative for our son. I would like to say I haven't looked back, but it would be a lie. This has been one tough year.

On the days when my son would throw a book across the room in frustration, I allowed myself to feel inferior. Here I was, an almost certified-teacher, listening to my 15 year-old trash-talk my teaching methods. I could get paid to hear that from students, I would think. When I averaged his math grades at the end of the year, his response was "Well, at least I passed."

For me to base my performance of off this type of feedback would be crazy.

Even though we have had difficult days, the problems we dealt with in school were eliminated by having our son at home this past year. When I look at the progress he's made, it's not where I hoped he would be, but it's progress nevertheless. I know, without a doubt, he is ahead of where he would have been otherwise.

 As we begin the next school year, I will drop my ninth, fourth, and first grader off for school each day. Then, I will take my tenth grader home to slay whatever dragons make their way into our learning. I will remind myself this is what I am called to do. There will be days you need to remind me, too.

My school day may not look like another's, but I will strive to be content doing what God has called me to do by teaching my son. How else should I feel, other than awe, that God has called upon me, with all my insecurities and complaints, to be the one to teach this child through his most difficult years thus far?

What do you struggle to be content with?   

Teaching Children Responsibility

A mother often wonders if she is raising her children right. Is she teaching them the tools they need to grow up? What major lesson is she forgetting? Who will be the one who wakes them up in the morning when she's not there to do it? Will they brush their teeth and put on clean clothes every day? Will they subsist only on pop-tarts and cokes?

Or, at least that's what goes through my mind.

I've tried to work on teaching my children the tools they need to be a responsible adult. It's been hit and miss, but I won't give up on them.

I started with my oldest by teaching him to fold towels when he was four. Eleven years later, he is still the primary towel folder. My teenagers have also been doing their own laundry the past few years, and my younger two are responsible for putting their clothes away. I have started teaching my nine year old to sort clothes, and my plan is to have her doing her laundry within the year.

I also know all four children can fend for themselves in the kitchen. I came in from a run one morning to find my youngest downing his breakfast at the table. "I made my own waffles," he told me. Complete with butter and syrup, he decided he didn't want to bother anyone else to make his breakfast. 

But my biggest challenge lately is waking them up. Maybe it is the lazy days of summer with the irregular bedtimes, but frankly, this is my least favorite activity. For half of my children, all I have to do is walk in the room and say their name. But for the other half - well, it is an athletic event.

When my oldest daughter started band a few weeks ago, I let her know she was to be responsible for setting an alarm and getting herself up. Each morning, I still check to make sure she is awake, but that's it. She takes care of getting her things together, and she has been ready to go on time each morning. My teenage son, on the other hand, is a different story. I could write a whole post on what I have tried (ice, water, loud noises, etc.) and why it doesn't help. He sleeps like a rock.

I'm learning that I can only do so much as a mother, and at some point I'm going to have to let go of the reins. I can only hope that when I do, they will remember what they've been taught.

Hopefully, I won't miss anything major along the way.

What are some ways you teach your children responsibility?


        

Balancing Schedules

In the past two weeks, I have inadvertently missed writing a new post for my blog.  But not because I didn't have anything to say.  If you know me, I always have something to talk about.  My kids will say or do something to spark an idea.  In fact, if I it weren't for them, I don't know what I would write about.

But it's a combination of what I want to accomplish and what my children let me accomplish that has restricted my time.  Some days are extremely productive, and others I am just spinning my wheels.  I started  to prioritize by making weekly and daily goals.  I even started making a daily schedule based on what needs to be done that particular day.

Yet, I still find myself consistently frustrated over what I'm not able to complete.  I struggle to find balance in what needs to be done as a wife and mother, and what needs to be done for myself as an individual.  Just once, I would like to finish a library book without renewing it.  Sleeping more than 5-6 hours a night would be a nice bonus.

Here's what I want to know:

1.  What other ideas do you have for finding balance in different areas of your life?

2.  How do you decide what to cut when everything seems equally important?

This evening, I sat down to watch a movie with my children.  I haven't done this in a while, because I can get a lot accomplished during the span of one movie.  While I usually feel time in front of the television is wasteful for me, this was long overdue.  It was nice to take the time to just sit and relax.  

I'm looking forward to your suggestions.      

The Sounds of Summer

I am in the throes of my first summer home with the children in four years.  Even though I knew it would be tough (I do have a challenging child), I am enjoying the relaxed routine.  The house is coming into order, I am making substantial progress as a writer, and I have not been bombarded by the phrase"there's nothing to eat around here."

But it's a little noisy around here, and I've been frustrated with some of the sentences I hear myself repeating day after day.

To change my perspective, I came up with what I would love to say instead. 

• "Are you sure you're ready to go to bed?  It's only 9:00."
• "Thank you so much for replacing the roll of toilet paper."
• "Wow!  You washed, dried, and put your clothes away.  All in the same day."
• "Only one bowl of cereal for breakfast?"
• "I haven't heard an argument all day."
• "You picked up the floor in your room.  Now what will the puppy chew on?"
• "Thank you for doing the dishes right after dinner."
• "Are you sure you don't want to play any video games today?"

Ah, I can dream, can't I?

Moms, what would you like to hear more of ?  Add yours to the comments below. 

Our Challenging Child

In the past year, I have written a lion's share of posts about my children.  I realize that I have almost excluded one subject with the exception of this post .  The irony is this:  it is the driving force behind the two books I am writing.  But I promised to share my progress with you.

I haven't intentionally avoided writing about the difficulties my husband and I face in parenting our oldest child.  It's just not a fun subject, and can be emotionally draining.    

My 15 year-old son is what I like to call a "challenging child."  Strong-willed is too weak a descriptor.  To give a synopsis - he likes to test the limits (and then some).  It is too lengthy to share much here, but we have been on a roller coaster of a journey since he was four.  It is the main reason the progression of my book slowed almost to a halt this past year.  Those days when I struggle to form a smile, the last thing I want to do is relive a moment by writing about it.  But I understand I need to capture that exact emotion in order to relate to others.

I realize I am opening myself up to vulnerability, but I believe our family has a story that needs to be shared.  A story to let others know they are not alone.  A story of endurance and survival.  I know God has led our family down this path for a reason.  I know He wants us to reach out and help others with what we have learned.  It's not a fun story, but it is our reality. 

Last week, I finished the first draft of a devotional book for mothers.  I'm stepping out on a limb here, because I was sure I heard God wrong on this one.  I do not consider myself qualified to that level of writing.  (I mean, come on, you've read my posts.)  But I continue writing, hoping that the words I put down are truly what He wants me to say.  I am now working on the revision process, and evaluating the next step in the publishing process.

In the meantime, I am continuing work on the proposal for my other book.  This book will be a support and encouragement for parents.  I will share our story, and hope the process helps others in similar situations.  I expect to finalize the sample chapters next week.

I know there are many parents out there who have a challenging child.  The diagnosis may be different.  Situations may be different.  But we need to know we're not alone in our struggles.  If I can just encourage one person with our story, it will be worth the time invested.

Can you think of someone who has a challenging child?     

Fighting the High Cost of Food (Part 3)

As promised, I am finalizing my progress on how we would cut the grocery budget for the month of June.  I needed to do more than dabble in freezer cooking and cut coupons.  But I just didn't see a way to cut much more, especially with the kids at home for summer.  I predicted endless requests for food.  This movie clip kept popping in my head as I watched my family plow (yes, plow) through dinner one night.

Fortunately, we did not have to resort to such drastic measures.  Instead, we came up with a little motivation to take the focus off of food.  Here's what we did:       

• Give it a purpose  We have a big goal we want to save for.  We came up with a specific amount to save for the month, and talked about it with the kids.  No more did I say, "We spend too much on food."  It was, "We're saving for ____________."  Or "remember ____."  The kids were on board because it benefits all of us.
• Compromise  My children have been on me to quit drinking Diet Coke.  "Cokes are bad for you!" my six year old cries.  Diet Cokes have been a way for me to treat myself, to make up for all the other things I've given up, like, oh, I don't know - sleep.  So I compromised with the kids.  I would give up my drinks if they wouldn't complain about eating PB&J.  They resounded with "Yes!"  They didn't know what they were asking for, but I did it anyway.  I stopped buying Diet Coke, and made the switch to tea.  That way, I still get my caffeine fix.  But if you offer me a Diet Coke, I sure won't turn you down.  (Bless you, Sonya!)    
• Sacrifice  I love to eat out, but for a family of six, it can be a budget buster.  I dread the cleanup, because dishwashing in our home is labor intensive.  While everyone moves on to other activities, I usually spend another hour in the kitchen.  Since we decided to eat at home more, the two older children are now in charge of dishes.  I don't mind the cooking so much now either, especially when I do the math on what we saved.    
• Versatility  We've been fortunate that several grocery stores put their eggs on sale for $0.99 or less several times this month.  At the end of last week, I counted five dozen in the fridge (which will be gone by the end of this week).  My teenage son will fix three scrambled eggs for a "snack."  We have eggs for breakfast, fried egg sandwiches for lunch, omelets for dinner, and I use them in mixing up double batches of pancakes or waffles.  A bag of potatoes is a real stretcher too.  We've had baked potatoes, oven fries, and potato egg burritos.    
• Patience  After another breakfast of scrambled eggs and pancakes, my husband looked at me with all seriousness and asked, "Did they stop selling bacon at the store?"  I assured him I would watch for a good deal.  When we run out of something, I evaluate if we really need it or if we can hold off on replacing it. We also have had a nice bounty from the garden that we started back in February.  The hard work is paying off.  The kids love tomatoes, and we had our first watermelon over the weekend.                       

All in all, it was a successful month.  We cut almost $200 off from our May food spending, and we event went out to eat a couple of times as a family.  We saved a nice amount of cash toward our goal, and I even managed to drop a couple of pounds.

Will this happen every month?  I don't think so, but it was a nice break to give me some optimism for the future.  And by the time my younger two become teenagers, the two older ones will be out of the house.  I hope.       

Wrapping Up the 15 Habits

Here is the much-awaited final post summarizing my progress on the 15 day writer's challenge.  Thank you for obliging me these past few weeks.  It's only taken me about 30 days, and I am motivated by my progress.  I also have a lot to learn.  

I took a risk last week, when I published this post .  I thought about how I usually play it safe with my posts.  I don't like conflict, and I want people to like me.  I like to write about my children when they are sweet and funny.  But I also need to stand up for my convictions.     

I will be putting more effort into sending my work out for publication.  My problem is not fear (too much), it is in getting bogged down as a mom of four.  I am ashamed with what little it seems I've accomplished the past year in this area.  This will change.  

I reviewed my purpose and brand.  I hear a lot about brand or platform for writers.  I took a good hard look at my blog, which is my main marketing tool right now.  I definitely need to update my photo, and make a few changes to the settings.  But I mostly focus on the content.  When I set up the blog, I didn't want to limit myself to a particular topic, even though most of the posts are about parenting or my children.    

This brings me to the day 15 challenge.  I enjoy writing, and I write what comes up in my life.  But from my readers, I want to know what interests you.  I hear from some of you that you enjoy reading my blog, but what is it that makes you come back each week?  What do you want to see more of?  How can I make this a better blog for you? 

It's been exactly one year since I published my first post.  Can you believe it?  Thank you for sticking with me! 

 

Garbage In - Garbage Out

I went for a run one day last week, and switched from my usual music to break up the routine.  About halfway through my run, I realized why I always listen to the same radio station.   

The tempo was upbeat for running, but some of the lyrics were unacceptable.  If I do not want to hear my six year old singing it, then it should go off.  I thought back to when my husband first became a Christian, and we went through every music CD and movie in the house.  We threw out anything that fell out of line with our beliefs.

Even though we do not have satellite or cable tv at home, I’m not completely cut off from “entertainment.”  I have become increasingly concerned with topics of discussion, what is considered “acceptable” language, and the portrayal of family on television shows.  Christianity has become a joke, sometimes in such a manner we don’t realize it.  For example, how many people know what the ABC show GCB actually stands for?  I have also had a discussion with my oldest daughter that when she “likes” a photo on Facebook, she needs to make sure the message is something that lines up with our values.  If there is any language there, she’s promoting it.         

We waste our time watching “reality” drama, while families around us need our help!  We invest time and money in our children by carting them all over to activities, but we don’t spend enough time teaching them values.  God’s values.  We do not point out what is wrong with situations, but laugh along with others to fit in.  We no longer flinch when we hear vulgar language.   We let our young daughters dress like they’re going to a club, and often times we dress that way too.   

We do not want to stand out.  As a result, we have become desensitized. 

Isn’t it time to say enough is enough?

What will it take for us to stand up to what is wrong with the culture?  Aren’t our children’s futures enough of a reason?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my children to think things are fine in the world.  I don’t want them to say “That’s just the way things are.”  I don’t want them to join the crowd because it’s easier than taking a stand.  I want them to stand for what’s right, and they must learn that from my example.

I will delete music that doesn’t line up with our values.  I will stand firm in overseeing what my children watch and listen to.  I will dress modestly and I will keep my speech pure.  I will keep a “hands on” approach to parenting no matter how much they protest.

I will be unpopular.  I will be weird.  I will stand out.     

“Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”  Philippians 4:8 NASB  

What will you do?      

Don't let it stop here!  Spread the word, and take action! 

It will be worth it. 

Cut the Clutter

For the past two weeks, I've been summarizing my progress through a 15 day writing challenge.  If you missed it up to this point, you can read it here. 

I planned to finish up this week, but to be honest, I want to give the last few days the justice they deserve.  I need to make some changes that will take a little time.  Fortunately, I have a break coming up this week that will allow me to focus on those changes. Thanks Mom and Dad!

The challenge for day 11 involved a word I love to hate. 

Declutter.

Oomph!  As much as I hate clutter, I have a knack for keeping it around.  But this challenge also entails cutting the clutter in your writing.   

The post came in the midst of cleaning out for a yard sale, so my house was in chaos.  We had piles of clothes, toys, and dishes in every room.  The clutter has been building, and I haven't been able to use my computer desk because of much needed filing.  I've been spending my time writing on my bed with the laptop.  It does get a little uncomfortable after awhile. 

I read the challenge, looked at my desk, looked around the house, then tabled day 11 until after the weekend. 

Today I took five minutes, and moved the piles of paperwork out of site.  I reclaimed the desk chair from my daughter's room, and set up my laptop for an hour of clutterfree writing. 

As far as decluttering my writing, I try to do that on a regular basis.  I like to keep my blog posts to the point.  I typically edit them down several times before I hit publish.  As a fellow reader, I know time is limited, and I want you to feel your time was not wasted.    

I also want to know - how do you stay on top of clutter? 

15 Habits Update: Days 6-10

For the past two weeks, I've been focusing my blog topics on working through a 15 day challenge from Jeff Goins.  My last post summarized my progress for days one through five, so now I'll focus on days six through ten.

Since my biggest obstacle right now is trying to believe in myself (from day 2), I was pleased to find some of these challenges much easier.  Day 7 taught me that it is okay for my work to be primitive (ugly) before it becomes smooth and refined.  This freed my writing time.  I spend less time on the backspace key.  More ideas make it to the screeen. 

Day 8 affirmed what I have been doing by working my book to completion.  Instead of starting another project, I am positive I will be halfway through my first draft this Thursday.  I have started gathering people to read my work, give honest feedback, and keep me on task.

The area where I'm having trouble right now is in connecting with other writers.  While I have the ability to read blogs and other information on my iPhone, it's more difficult for me to comment, join forums, and seek out discussions with other writers.  We don't have the internet at home.  I know this is something I eventually need to work on, but for now the penny pincher in me is winning.  

The day 10 challenge was easier.  Even though I am a day behind, I hope you'll indulge me in sharing what I've been reading.  This was one of my goals for the year,  and the pick for June was short and powerful.  I hope you have had a chance to read Who Moved My Cheese.  It was much more than what I thought it would be.  Note to those who haven't read it:  I would not recommend reading this on an empty stomach.

If you're looking for humor, I recommend Jon Acuff's site Stuff Christians Like.  If you have spent any time in the church, I promise you will laugh out loud.  He also has another blog with great ideas on moving forward with goals. 

For ministry minded reading, take a look at Paul Stohler's blog.  His wife Michelle shares insights on life with young children on her blog Seriously Underpaid.


If there is someone's writing that has impacted you, please share. 

Five habits to go, and I already sense a difference in the direction of my life.  I'm so glad you've joined me on this journey! 

 

     

My First Week's Progress

Last week, I told you about a challenge I'm working on to put my dream of writing in motion.  If you missed this piece of news, you can read it here.  Now that I'm moving into the second week, let me simply tell you - I'm tired.  This is not a new concept for me.  I have four children.  I've missed a few hours of sleep in the last - gasp! [almost] 16 years.

But it's not just the emphasis on writing that is contributing to my fatigue.  I tend to give myself permission to do too much, but I've come to realize there will never be an ideal time.  Life is busy, and if I want to reach my dream, then I'm going to miss a few hours of sleep.  I'll apologize in advance for droopy eyes and less than stellar reaction time.

My body is slowly making the adjustment to early morning writing, and I am happy to note progress.  To sum up so far, I have two books in the works.  This may seem a little ambitious, since I spent the last year piddling around.  But I'm tired of piddling. 

It's time for me to be serious.
  
I pulled out a dusty book proposal I started working on last year, and I am evaluating what needs to be completed to send it off.  My next step is to get the two sample chapters to follow the same pattern and mood as the introductory chapter.  If you would like to keep me accountable, you have my permission to ask me about progress on the proposal at any time.  In the meantime, I am adding to my other book daily. 

Oh, and I decided this probably wasn't the best time for me to give up the caffeine habit.

You're welcome.

I Am a Writer

In the spirit of keeping my blog posts in line with my life (you never know what you're going to get), I am going to deviate from my food fight this week.  This is something I'm still working on fervently, and I will update my progress toward the end of the month.  In the meantime, I've started a new challenge that I'm excited about.
 
Almost a year ago, I started this blog to overcome a fear.  Or substantiate my dream.  Either way I look at it, I've enjoyed the challenge of creating new material for you to read.  But as I stated from the beginning, I want to take my writing to another level.  As I reflected on the past year, I was not content with my progress.  I wanted to focus on writing regularly, and keep fresh ideas consistently flowing.  While the latter goal is moving forward, the former is not.  I write sporadically, when the kids are quiet, or when I can stay awake late (thanks Diet Coke).

Isn't it funny how things come along right when you need them?

I ran across a link on twitter,which I hope is key to moving me forward in my progress.  I joined a 15 day series to mastering great writer habits by Jeff Goins.  I actually joined the day before it started, so I'm on track.

Here's what I'm putting into practice so far from the first two habits:

1.  I'm a writer.  If you didn't know that, you do now.  I will no longer say "I don't work."  I will not refer to myself as a stay at home mom (even though that's a tough title on its own).  Simply put:  I Am A Writer!

2.  I made myself get up early this morning and spent almost two hours working on a book.  I plan to post more about that specifically later on.

I'm excited about what's to come, and I hope you'll enjoy following this journey with me.  And if you have the desire to write, but do not know where to start, you can join the journey too!  Just click on the link above.  For extra accountability, I'll be updating my progress a couple of times a week.  I'll also be searching for additional sources of caffeine. 

                                                           

Fighting the High Cost of Food (Part 2)

In my last post, I admitted frustration over our family's increasing food budget.  If you missed it, you can read it here.  

On my journey of finding better, yet easier, ways to feed my family, I decided to start with some freezer cooking.  Don't ask me how I landed on this specific decision, but part of it is my relentless quest to become more adept in the kitchen.  So with a little help from a few websites, I devised a plan to stock some ready meals in the freezer and be rid of the incessant phrase [insert teenage drama tone here] "There's nothing to eat in this house." 

The first site I started with was Money Saving Mom.  If you're looking to save and want some great ideas, this is a great site to visit.   The series of posts to fill the freezer piqued my interest.  I have never tried to freeze meals, even though we have the space to do so.  Most of the time, I do buy in bulk and I'll freeze ground beef, chicken, or spaghetti sauce into meal-size portions.  I also frequently stock up at the bakery outlet and freeze bagels, tortillas, and multiple loaves of bread.   

So in my typical fashion of big ideas (finish degree while working full-time, take a minimester graduate course, run a marathon), I planned to spend a Saturday filling our freezer.

I spent five hours in the kitchen that day, and here's what I learned:  

1.  I was smart enough to put a roast in the crock pot for dinner before I did anything else.

2.  The more cooking I did, the less I wanted to snack.

3.  I should never get tied up at home for hours with no Diet Coke.

4.  The only thing I can competently do with a rolling pin is roll out muscle soreness in my legs from running.

5.  Reading the directions all the way through is very important! 

I wasn't able to finish everything I planned on Saturday, but I did a little more Sunday afternoon and Monday evening.

What went into my freezer (by Monday evening):

The rest of a double batch of waffles from breakfast (there weren't many)

1 Lasagna Casserole

3.5 lbs of Barbecued Meatballs

1 batch of Pizza Pockets (the remainder after the kids hit them for lunch)

Southwest Rollups  

Was the freezer cooking worth doing again?

While it has been nice to have things on hand, I don't like spending hours in the kitchen at one time.  I am going to try to become more efficient with my cooking though.  For instance, Monday evening while chicken enchiladas were in the oven, I made the Southwest Rollups.  These have been a handy lunch item to have on hand, and cheaper than sandwiches.  Next time I will make them without chicken to decrease the cost per item even more.    

Meanwhile, I'm still searching for more ways to eat better for less.  If I can only master homemade pizza dough...    

Fighting the High Cost of Food (Part 1)

Newsflash!!!!


My kids are growing!

Yes, I know.  It shouldn't have caught me by surprise.  I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden they want to eat all the time.  All four of them!  My youngest will finish off his entire kid's meal.  The teenagers now eat off of the adult menu. Yet, I still want to shop for my family of six like there's a toddler at home.  So why am I surprised when a bag of Goldfish crackers disappears in an instant?

Part of this denial is due largely in part to rising food costs.  I am determined to not increase our monthly food budget.  I consider myself to be a pretty savvy shopper when it comes to the grocery store.  We don't buy a lot of meat, junk food is minimal, and I shop the ads from the local grocery stores.  I clip coupons for the things we use, and I buy some items in bulk from the warehouse store.  I know when something is at a good price, or if it will usually go cheaper.  It's a gift.  I can still tell you what we paid for sirloin steak when my husband and I first married seventeen years ago.  Those were the days we had steak and baked potatoes every Friday night.

Sigh.

I had just about decided the best way to reduce the cost of food in our home was to put us all on a steady diet of ramen noodles.  Okay, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.  Mostly.  Remember, I am the mom whose children prefer spaghetti and meatballs from a can.

Instead I decided to challenge myself to feed my family for less each month, without sacrificing quality or quantity.  Note:  I don't want to increase the amount of time I spend in the kitchen.

Stay tuned for the next post where I'll detail the first steps of my plan which includes some freezer cooking.  If you have any ideas to help me along, I'd love to hear from you!

A Thank You Post

I've spent a lot of time writing about my experiences as a mother, lessons I've learned from my children, and the legacy I want to leave with my children. What I haven't spent time writing about is where I'm coming from with my background. 

I was a rotten, attitude-ridden, mouthy, difficult teenager. I rolled my eyes, conversed in sarcasm, and was mostly disagreeable around my family.  (I can hear the shout of "Amen!" from my parents now.) 

Now that I have two teenagers of my own, I cringe thinking about how I behaved.  As a child, I inwardly groaned when my mother brought up scripture from the Bible to prove a point.  Now, I search for scripture to use with my children.  My mother is the reason I grew up in a Christian home.  I'm sorry to say it took having children of my own to realize the importance of that background.  Supporting each other's activities in our family was expected.  While I may have been bored sitting at some of my brother's activities, I remember my family attending my basketball games sophomore year where I spent 90% of the season on the bench.  It may be more difficult for me to sit through a band concert or choir program with three children, but I've said what I heard from my mother, "We are a family, and we support each other."

I wish I could go back and change the way I behaved as a child, but it has made me appreciate my mother so much more for still loving me through it.  I know I have apologized to my parents for being so difficult, but I just want to take a moment to say:

Thanks, Mom!  I love you!       

Telling My Secret

Shhhhh.  I  have a secret.  It's a secret I've been hiding from for years.  I can't believe I'm even writing about it now, but I've decided it's time for a confession.  If there are any other moms out there who carry this same secret with shame, do not fear.  It's time to be bold and confident.  It's time to be yourself!

Well, maybe I'm exaggerating just a bit, but I do have a confession.  I'm not Suzy Homemaker, Betty Crocker, or June Cleaver.  Martha Stewart is way out of my league.  I don't sew elaborate costumes or decorate bakery quality cupcakes for my children.  Even though I was taught early on to sew and bake, I don't do well in the kitchen and I've forgotten how to thread my sewing machine.  The year my daughter needed a colonial style dress for school, I called my mom (a very qualified seamstress).  I cringe when my children tell me about upcoming activities that require creativity, competence, and an abundance of time - three things I'm short on.     

Every year, the AWANA program at our church has a drive-in movie night.  This is great fun for the kids, but there's one exception that holds me back.  The kids make a car.  The first year, my smallest child's group was using toy cars.  My other children had a choice of picking a toy car or joining in with someone else.  Fortunately, there are always a few handy folks who make two and three seaters.  Last year, I opted out and we stayed home.  Yes, I know.  Pathetic.

But this year I couldn't stay home.  I didn't know what to do, so I avoided thinking about it.  Then I was made aware of a nice water heater box, and how that would make a nice car for drive-in movie night.  I wielded a can of spray paint and put way too many hours in (with some help from the kids), but there were positive results.  

It may not have been the best car on the block, but there were smiles all around.  Isn't that all that matters anyway?

The Right Tool for the Job

A couple of weeks ago, we had a crisis with our hot water heater.  As always, when something major happens, I learn an important lesson from the experience.  

To condense the story (because, frankly, it is quite lengthy), let me just say that water was flooding our bathroom and my husband was not in town.  I knew I needed to shut off the water to the house.  My oldest son and I searched and searched for a tool that would do the job.  We went through toolboxes and I tried several different ones, but I couldn't get the knob (or whatever it's called) to turn.  When we finally found the pair of pliers that my husband told me to use (via phone), I still couldn't get it turned off.  Meanwhile, my oldest daughter is emptying buckets and soaking towels in the bathroom to keep the water contained to one room.  

Frustrated that I couldn't get to the knob well enough to turn it, I sent my son down the road to our neighbor for help.  He came back with a long handled tool and thirty seconds later the water was off.  I said, "I'm buying one of these tonight," and I did.  What a difference it made to use a tool that was specifically designed for this purpose!  I was amazed at how much easier it was to accomplish my task.

 

I thought about how that relates to scripture memory and how relevant a verse can be to what is going on in my life.  It's having the right tool for the job.

But the lesson didn't stop there.

After the new water heater was installed, I was ready to use my new tool to turn the water back on.  I tried and tried, and I couldn't get the tool around the knob to turn it.  While I was grumbling and trying to get a grip I somehow moved the metal lid and then noticed the concrete moved.  What do you know?  The whole lid comes off, and there's direct access to the knob.  I had been trying to turn it on and off from a 90 degree angle.  Well, no wonder!  Thirty seconds later the water was back on, and I felt ridiculous.

I learned that it is important to have the right tool for the job, but if I'm not using it the way it is intended, my situation is going to be more difficult.  How does this relate to learning Bible verses?  The verses are my tool, but if I don't memorize them to have immediately available in my mind, then I'm not able to use the tools the way they are meant to be used.

I've fallen off track with this goal, and this little crisis helped me see how important it is for me to continue learning those verses and calling them to my mind when I need them.