Back to School (Finding Contentment)

Back to school. Orientation. Meet the teacher night.

The week before school can fill up (especially when you have more than one child in school) with the busyness of getting ready for that first day. This is also the time of year I typically get down on myself. You see, I wanted to be a teacher, and I would be waiting in my own classroom for new students.

This year, for the first time, I don't feel that way.

Contentment. It has been a struggle for me in many areas of my life, but it has permeated my mind quite a bit lately on the career front. I am trying to come to terms with it, because I want to be content with what God has called me to do. I think the hardest part is that our culture has put so much value on career.

A year ago, I voluntarily left my full-time job of four years in order to homeschool my oldest child. It was a decision my husband and I made together, knowing there would be difficult days. But it was a decision we knew was the best alternative for our son. I would like to say I haven't looked back, but it would be a lie. This has been one tough year.

On the days when my son would throw a book across the room in frustration, I allowed myself to feel inferior. Here I was, an almost certified-teacher, listening to my 15 year-old trash-talk my teaching methods. I could get paid to hear that from students, I would think. When I averaged his math grades at the end of the year, his response was "Well, at least I passed."

For me to base my performance of off this type of feedback would be crazy.

Even though we have had difficult days, the problems we dealt with in school were eliminated by having our son at home this past year. When I look at the progress he's made, it's not where I hoped he would be, but it's progress nevertheless. I know, without a doubt, he is ahead of where he would have been otherwise.

 As we begin the next school year, I will drop my ninth, fourth, and first grader off for school each day. Then, I will take my tenth grader home to slay whatever dragons make their way into our learning. I will remind myself this is what I am called to do. There will be days you need to remind me, too.

My school day may not look like another's, but I will strive to be content doing what God has called me to do by teaching my son. How else should I feel, other than awe, that God has called upon me, with all my insecurities and complaints, to be the one to teach this child through his most difficult years thus far?

What do you struggle to be content with?